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This should only take a few minutes.

 

I’d first like to start off by saying I’m not usually one to stir up controversy too much on social media. I try to keep things fun and lighthearted and would like to think I do a decent job of that. So this week has been foreign territory to me. Getting backlash from people in general - but also from frustrated Iowa fans, specifically, is not something I’m really used to at all.

 

This week, Kirk Ferentz made a comment I think it’s safe to say he should not have made at all. Over his two-plus decades as Iowa’s head coach, he has predicated his program around taking the high road and has always encouraged his players to do the same. In his own written apology after saying what he said, he mentioned this and also mentioned that he did not follow the instruction he gives his own players. His words.

 

After Kirk said what he said at his weekly Tuesday presser, video of it starting going viral. A national college football writer I’m friends with reached out to me and told me he had lost respect for Kirk that day. I strongly value this person’s knowledge, wisdom and opinions on college football, but also just about being a good person, about as much as anyone I know. So I was taken aback a bit by his comments about a man we both know at his core is a pretty great overall person.

 

Instead of just saying “Yeah you’re right, he probably shouldn’t have said that,” I chose what I’ve done several times in my life, and that is to have the back of someone who has always had mine. Kirk Ferentz is a man of great character, and defending that character is a hill I’d gladly go to battle on. As would just about anyone who knows him as a person - and certainly what the overwhelming majority of his former players, staff members, student managers - you name it - would do.

 

Having also been a member of the media myself, a career that was lucky enough to land at ESPN and Big Ten Network, I completely understand that media members have a job to do. I used to be one. Doug Lesmerises of Cleveland.com is a terrific writer. On top of his writing, the straw poll he conducts every year was essentially an unofficial AP Top 25 as far as providing us with preseason content when I worked at Big Ten Network.

 

I referred to him as a “jerk” in a tweet this week. I’ll be the first to admit, that was a bit out of line. “Direct” or “blunt” is a better and more objective assessment, and I don’t mean that as any sort of dig at all. He was simply trying to do a job I have done myself and while I disagreed with the way he went about doing it on Saturday, resorting to name calling was absolutely the low road and I shouldn’t have done that. Again, he is a terrific writer, I have read his work time and time again. It is also important to note that he has done very important work throughout his career, including but certainly not limited to during the Urban Meyer-Zach Smith episode at Ohio State.

 

Probably the largest platform that engaged with my social media post defending Kirk this week, quote tweeted me saying:

 

“Kirk Ferentz is a millionaire, man, this is weird.”

 

I understand a lot of the criticism my social media post got this week. A lot of the counterpoints were fair, and I appreciate those who engaged respectfully or agreed to disagree. But this one struck me as befuddling.

 

When I say I would “gladly” battle on the hill defending Kirk Ferentz’s character, I feel it is important to point out that I’m not doing this blindly, nor is anyone else who knows him. Through my career, which at this point may as well have been of a former life, I have been lucky enough to get to know Kirk on a personal level. I’ve been lucky enough to get to know a handful of college football coaches at that level, really. To the point that my wife and I received two paragraphs of text message, a private personalized video, and a handwritten note from three current Big Ten coaches providing us with kind words, advice for the wedding day, and marriage as a whole earlier this month. All of them did this in the middle of their season.

 

I’ll stop because if you’re still reading, you probably think I’m bragging at this point - and I get that may be how this comes off. What I’m really getting at is that these coaches that some of you think just look down on us from their thrones are actually human beings, a lot of them absolutely fantastic ones. They’re incredibly philanthropic, and get embarrassed by publicity of that. They also aren’t perfect, just like us. They make mistakes - and a lot of them have to publicly admit that more than you or I ever will. They make more money than we probably will. That doesn’t mean they are bad people, even when they might slip, or that they aren’t affected by what people say to them, about them, their staffs, and especially about their players.

 

As people, we aren’t in the right every time we do something, and this week I probably would have been better served to just sit on my hands despite having something I wanted to say. Not because I didn’t believe what I said. But because I opened a bag of worms that I didn’t need to. In doing so, I stirred up some pretty negative and unpleasant conversations on social media, between people who both agreed and disagreed with me. I find those who facilitate negativity like that regularly as distasteful folks, and it is one of the main things that transition social media into a toxic forum and not the fun or informative space it could be.

 

I’ll leave you with this. I got laid off from my job a couple years ago. Like many who did, I was laid off in a group Zoom call. In this specific instance, we were only looking at a blank screen with audio on it while finding out we were losing our jobs. Three of the first people I heard from on the day I announced my unemployment in hopes of landing somewhere were members of Kirk Ferentz’s staff at Iowa.

 

“If you need anything from us at all, please do not hesitate to reach out.”

 

A few days later, this was followed up by a personal note of support from Kirk Ferentz himself.

 

There are people I worked with, pretty closely, who I had what would be characterized as strong or great working relationships with who I still haven’t heard from since the day I got laid off. But Kirk Ferentz and his staff reached out to me and offered any assistance they could possibly provide. I am far from the only person with stories like this about Kirk, his staff, or his current and former players giving their time to someone who needs some encouragement.

 

Kirk Ferentz knows I’m not in a position to do anything for him. He knows I am no longer pitching story ideas as part of my job at a national TV network, and he certainly knows I am not in a position to donate heavily to the football program. But on a Friday afternoon before a game this season, he gave me about 15 minutes of his time in his office where the two of us talked about my upcoming wedding and caught up on life since we’d last seen each other. I actually ended up just kicking myself out of his office because he would have let me overstay my welcome.

 

So, please, just understand where I’m coming from - and in a broader scope where people we disagree with are coming from. I’m talking to myself as much as I’m talking to you here. Don’t call that person a jerk like I did or call them weird or a clown like I was called. You still might strongly disagree. You still might not like what you see. In some cases, they may very well not be coming from a good place at all. Take a deep breath and use it as an opportunity to learn something or, maybe even better, to just simply put the phone down.

 

We’ll all be a lot happier that way.